You Deserve Great Friends Regardless of your Weight. What COVID-19 has reinforced this year is our need for human contact and relationships. It is so important to our psychological health and wellbeing- an area we quite often overlook.
This can be particularly true if you are overweight or those lacking confidence and self-esteem. Being larger can indeed be isolating whether its self-imposed or implied by others. Either way it re-inforces how bad we feel about our current situation. I’ve been there, I understand it. I could fill a novel with excuses mine and others, it just seemed to go hand in hand with being overweight.
I wonder how many times you have declined invitations to socialise ie: coffee catch up/weddings etc.. because you felt ashamed of your weight and size. Granted years ago Fashion did not cater for the larger child or adult which added injury to insult. A legitimate excuse at that time I thought. Now thankfully there is a myriad of beautiful Fashion available to the larger person alleviating the issue of nothing to wear and eliminating that excuse.
Relationships are a two-way engagement. It’s important to nourish any good relationships you have and re-think those that do not serve you.
A well-meaning person in my life when I was in my early teens commented..”When you are thin, you look good in anything, when you are fat, no-one wants to chat”!! So started my journey of non-acceptance of self unless I was a “certain size”. You can imagine how devasting it was to hear that which was meant to shock me into action but actually had the opposite effect.
Quite often when we feel inferior or not worthy, we may attract and attach ourselves unconsciously to others, who, let’s be blunt here, are not good enough for US. We accept second best in order to feel a sense of belonging and less lonely. A legitimate psychological reason at the time. So often I see clients actually defining themselves because of their weight or size.
A major contributor to this definition is the media and publishing houses. We are bombarded with the bikini clad 50 year old and near naked Kardashians of all ages through all forms of media. Did you know that when they publish magazines of stars without make-up, those are the most purchased issues of any magazine in the world? TRUE.
We all want to see that these air-brushed people are really just like you and me without make-up and unwashed hair. We want to know that they too are just like us and I can tell you from experience they are. Just because someone is slimmer does not guarantee a wonderful life. They too have relationship issues, eating issues, non-acceptance, confidence &self esteem issues. I know, these people are my clients too.
The Most Important Relationship you have, is the Relationship you have with Yourself.
I want you to know that your weight or size does not define you. You deserve wonderful relationships regardless of size, weight or anything else.
Sit down with pen and paper and look to where you may be judging yourself, defining yourself as not good enough because of your size or weight. How many times is it actually you and not the other person? It can be quite enlightening to do this exercise. AND do not judge yourself, just be mindful, be aware of where you may be initiating those feelings of inadequacy and not good enough.
How many times might you have rejected a relationship/friendship with someone who was slimmer because of a pre-emptive thought of how could they possibly be friends with a person like me? Have you felt like the token “fat friend” in a relationship? Yes, interesting subject isn’t it? One we will delve into more deeply at a later date.
Cherish your real relationships those ones that serve you, that nourish you. Let the others go as they only serve to bring you down. If you need help in this or any other area or would like to comment, please contact us through our website. https://www.savvybariatrics.com
You are Enough