To Tell or Not to Tell

TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL

 

To Tell or Not to Tell – do I tell them or don’t I?  I’ve just made one of the most important decisions in my life.  I’ve done the research, looked at the pros and cons, and made the commitment emotionally and financially.   I feel great, it’s the right decision for me.  Weight loss surgery is going to help change my life in so many ways.  I deserve this.

The decision to tell or not to tell now overwhelms me.  I feel like a thunderbolt struck right in the middle of my chest. Those euphoric moments of a new slimmer life are replaced with fear, dread, shame, and guilt.

 

To Tell or Not to Tell

If I tell, who do I tell and why?

What do I expect their response to be?

What if it’s not what I wanted or expected

Can I cope with negative responses to WLS?

Do I have to tell?

If I don’t tell and they find out, how will I cope with that.

Won’t they suspect anyway, I can’t hide a massive weight loss?

If it was them, would they tell.

And on and on and on….

 

We can never pre-empt what another’s response will be.  The very people you thought would support and encourage you through this journey can often be the very people who shoot you down.  Comments like:

 

To Tell or Not to Tell
I’m confused – do I tell or don’t I?

Just stop eating so much

Get off your backside and exercise.

Surgery is taking the easy way out

You’ve always been big that’s who you are

You will just put it back on like you always do

It’s the lazy persons way of cheating

Just diet and exercise that’s all you need to do

 Confiding in someone you thought would have your back and getting an adverse response is devastating

 

Take the time before disclosing to really think about why you are disclosing.  Do you want support and encouragement or are you just telling because you feel obligated to?  Maybe it’s because you are excited about a new slimmer future and just want to share that.  We want those we love to feel our excitement, to be happy for us like they would an upcoming wedding or birth.

Reflect on Your Intentions

Understanding your motivation for disclosing is important. The need for emotional support, encouragement and accountability from loved ones cannot be underestimated. Having an understanding and compassionate support and/or a support network can make an enormous difference to your journey after weight loss surgery.

Evaluate Your Support System

Sharing your decision for weight loss surgery you may encounter judgement, unsolicited advice, opinions, and privacy concerns.  Revealing personal health information might challenge your sense of privacy, especially with acquaintances or colleagues.  Many are quick to announce that your weight loss is due to surgery rather than your hard committed work.

Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries with individuals who might not be supportive or understanding, focusing on your well-being.  Knowing you have had Weight Loss Surgery some people take on their role in the Food Policing Squad with even more vigour.   Scrutinising and issuing “warnings” about how much and what you are eating.  Contemplate the extent to which you are comfortable with vulnerability and openness.

Anticipate Potential Reactions

Sharing your story might impact your emotional health.  Consider the potential reactions you might receive upon disclosing your weight loss surgery. While some may offer support and encouragement, others might not fully understand the complexities of your decision. Be prepared for a range of responses, both positive and negative. Negative reactions or judgment from others could potentially affect your self-esteem and progress.

Weight Loss Surgery is a recognised medical procedure.  You do not need to justify your decision to anyone.   Unfortunately, there will always be some who seek to undermine your choice.

Seek Professional Guidance

To Tell or Not to Tell
Talking with a professional can help with your decision to tell or not to tell

 

If you’re unsure about whether to disclose your weight loss surgery, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional. A therapist can help you navigate your feelings, provide coping strategies, and assist in making an informed decision.

 

To Tell or Not to Tell – It’s not an easy decision.  But whatever you decide, be comfortable and happy with it.  Decide, commit, and focus on your weight loss journey with pride and confidence.  It’s your life, your decision and you deserve a slimmer healthier body.

 

If you have any queries or would like to know how we can help you on this amazing life changing journey, please contact us or book a free strategy call via our  website  https://www.savvybariatrics.com

Stay Savvy

 

 

Beware the Feeders and Food Pushers at Christmas

Feeders and Food Pushers at Christmas  

The Weight Loss Saboteurs

Beware the Feeders and Food Pushers at Christmas.  Are you one who dreads Christmas because of social functions and Christmas day Lunches & Dinner?  All that wonderful food.  Lovingly cooked hams, turkeys, beef, chicken.  Vegetables of all sorts and salads that would rival any royal banquet.  Those enticing desserts and chocolates.  The obligatory alcohol.

AARRRGGGHHHHH – stop.

If you struggle with ongoing weight issues or have had weight loss surgery, the dread of Christmas cheer will start early December and continue most likely until New Year’s Eve.   You tell yourself next year will be different, I will be prepared but it becomes a cycle repeated year in year out always with the promise of change next time.

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Part of breaking this cycle is being aware and mindful of a few things which are particularly prevalent around the festive season.

Watch out for the Feeders.  You know the ones.  They want you to pile your plate up high with everything in sight and if you don’t do it, they will do it for you. A Mt Everest of food. It’s like a competition to see who can stuff down the most food but there is no prize at the end just a feeling of bloating and nausea with a commitment that you won’t be doing that again.

Feeders come in all shapes and sizes from all ethnicities.  They are constantly walking around with plates and tongs dumping morsels onto your plate reassuring you there is more than enough for a second helping.

Then there are the Feeders that guilt you into eating even when you don’t want to or don’t like what is on offer.  They have spent all week cooking and preparing for this wonderful day just so you can share in their legendary gourmet offerings.  Don’t even think about refusing their food for you will offend them on a scale of epic proportion.

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As you are being coerced into stuffing yourself, I want you to be aware and take note of what size the host feeder is and how much they eat themselves.  My experience with a lot of observant research shows that generally the host feeder is slim or slim-ish.  Other information of note is that rarely will you see these Feeders each much themselves.  Their sole purpose is to feed everyone else which becomes merely an exercise in making themselves feel emotionally fulfilled.

To survive these Pushers of Food and not sabotage your weight loss, here are a couple of tips that work.

  • Put a little of each food item on your plate. You will find if you do this the host Feeder will most often leave you alone.
  • Eat slowly, chewing your food thoroughly and savouring the taste, really enjoy every mouthful you eat.
  • Stop eating when you get that initial feeling of satiety. Remember its ok to leave food on your plate and not eat it!
  • I know someone who takes a “doggy bag/container” with them, so they take home what is left on their plate to eat at the next meal or next day. If you have real issues with wasting food, then this is a good option.
  • Communicate you have had enough to eat and that you are satisfied. If this is met with resistance from the Feeder you need to be firm in your stance.

Eat and be merry.  Enjoy yourself.  Enjoy your food, really enjoy it.  Its one day, one meal and it doesn’t need to be the catalyst for fear or weight loss sabotage that it may have been in the past.

 

Merry Christmas and a successful  2023

www.savvybariatrics.com

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Mondaydietitis after Weight Loss Surgery

Are you still suffering from “Mondaydietitis” after Weight Loss Surgery?

That endless cycle of Monday dieting that ends Monday afternoon or Tuesday when you perceive you have “ruined the day” and the Monday diet goes out the window again. Its demoralising isn’t it.

Most recipients of Baritric Weight Loss Surgery expect that they will never have to do Mondaydietitis again. Yet we fall back into old patterns. This is learned behaviour that becomes a habit and repeatedly those feelings of defeat, overwhelm and helplessness are being reinforced. Exactly what we do not want.

So, what if we just stop doing the Monday Diet thing and learn to eat mindfully instead? Some of you will feel panic at that idea. The truth is that diets equate to deprivation and as you know diets and deprivation just do not work. They never have and they never will. What does work however is a mind change, an attitude change. Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery has given you a great tool but unless the missing link in making over your Mindset and relationship with food is undertaken, you are setting yourself up for more struggle.

If you find yourself eating something YOU believe you shouldn’t, ask yourself these questions – before you eat! Write down the answers to these questions. It is a very powerful tool.

  • Why shouldn’t I be eating this?
  • Who said I can’t eat it?
  • Why do I think I want it?
  • What will it give me once I have eaten it?
  • Am I eating because I am hungry?
  • What am I really hungry for?

These are just a few of the questions you can ask yourself to begin to take back control and create a new relationship with food.

Overeating and Binge Eating are natural responses to the restriction and deprivation that happens on a diet.

The minute we know we “can’t” have something, we want it. It’s human nature. You may not have had a cream cake for 6 months. Your brain hears that word “diet” what happens? You start craving what you think you can never ever eat again in your whole life. That’s what diets mean to our minds. It’s a concept you are never going to win.

I am here to tell you, it’s not your fault. You have been programmed to think like this.

You have learned to be restricted and obsessive about food and all it does is reinforce bad habits and behaviours of the dieting yo-yo and Mondaydietitis.

For more information about how we can help you take control once and for all and never diet or feel deprived again, contact us at our website www.savvybariatrics.com

 

Relationship Issues after Weight Loss Surgery

Relationship Issues after Weight Loss Surgery?

Experiencing Relationship Issues after Weight Loss Surgery are many and varied. They have all the elements of being good, bad and ugly. And it’s all your fault. You decided to change. You being “fat” makes others feel comfortable and safe.

Bariatric weight loss surgery is associated with improved confidence and self-esteem and psychological changes in general. It’s a great “side-effect” of weight loss and one that we all want.

What is hard to fathom is other peoples’ reactions to our weight loss after surgery. Family and friends who you thought were 100% on your team may begin to show signs of jealousy and indifference to your achievements. You may even be met with remarks such as “you took the easy way out” or “you will just put the weight back on anyway”. These comments by people we love and who are supposed to love us cut straight through to the heart.

Weight Loss Surgery is no easy way out. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to achieve the desired weight loss and to maintain it.  The last thing you should have to deal with is other people not coping with you changing.

 

Herein lies the issue. You being the “fat” one in a group or family allows others to feel more confident with their body and life. Seemingly, they have no competition from you. You are no threat until you have lost enough weight. Then someone else in the family or group of friends now becomes the “fat” one. Resentment can set in from the newly crowned “fatty” of the group which will often find them trying to sabotage your success. Jealousy from others is a human emotion that you may find yourself having to deal with after losing significant amounts of weight.

If you remain the “fat” identity in the group or family relationships will generally be stable.

They won’t be what you want necessarily but you accommodate it because as someone who is obese you may feel your friendship options are limited. And unfortunately, this is often the case. Fat shaming happens in all areas of life. Its ramifications are underestimated.

Weight affects the way people see you and treat you. Weight loss affects the way people treat you and respond to you.

Bariatric Divorce figures vary depending on the research module you look at. Suffice to say however, that the divorce rate following bariatric weight loss surgery is high. With physical and psychological improvements, comes increased confidence and self-esteem. Clients find they no longer need unhealthy relationships, and many choose to end those relationships.

 

 

In this article I won’t be dissecting the myriad of relationship issues that can and do occur for the Bariatric patient, but it is something that is addressed in depth when I work with Bariatric Weight Loss Clients pre and post-surgery.

Let’s also not forget those acquaintances who have had surgery the same day/week/month etc. that you have. It could be in a group you belong to. Yes, unfortunately this is another area where we see fellow Bariatric patients becoming jealous because someone else is losing quicker or losing more. Everyone loses at different rate for numerous and obvious reasons. Comparing your weight loss journey with another can make you feel like a failure if the rate of loss is not the same. DON’T do this to yourself. Just don’t do it. Focus on your journey knowing that your body and mind will lose weight at a rate that is perfect for you.

Relationships will change after you have surgery. Some will excel and others you will find dissipate.

It is not a reflection of you or the surgery. These relationships quite often were unhealthy and the power within them one sided long before you decided to have surgery.

 

If you would like more information on our programs or how we can help you through this life changing journey, please visit our website at www.savvybariatrics.com

Stay Savvy

 

Importance Of Supplements

The Importance of Supplements Post Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery

The Importance of Supplements Post Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery.

It’s easy to forget The Importance of Supplements post Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery.  However, they are essential for your optimal health and wellbeing. You will quickly feel the effects of not taking your supplements or indeed not receiving adequate dosage.  A simple blood test requested by your GP or Dietitian will allow them to recommend which supplements you need, and levels required.

Missing a day here and there is ok, we all do it.  But it really is imperative that you stick to a committed daily routine of taking your supplements.  Keeping a diary on your kitchen bench and ticking it off each day will alleviate any amnesia on your part.

Remember this is a lifelong regime required for ongoing health of your body and mind.

In this Series we will take a quick look at each of the Essential Vitamins & Minerals required after Bariatric Weight Loss Surgery.

 

Vitamin B12

Vitamin B12 is a powerhouse. It helps make DNA, nerve and blood cells, and is crucial for a healthy brain and immune system.

A Vitamin B12 deficiency is the most common deficiency among people who have undergone bariatric surgery. While about 5% of patients have this deficiency prior to surgery, about 13% have it once surgery is complete. The B12 deficiency tends to occur due to the inadequate digestion of vitamin B12.

B12 plays a vital role in nervous system functioning and the growth and replication of cells. Potential complications from having a deficiency in vitamin B12 include:

 

                      • Heart palpitations
                      • Shortness of breath
                      • Light-headedness
                      • Pale skin
                      • Loss of appetite
                      • Diarrhea
                      • Vision loss
                      • Memory loss
                      • Depression

Bariatric patients are more likely to develop a vitamin B12 deficiency than other people because their digestive tracts have been changed.

This causes an interference with the natural absorption of B12. In adults who have not undergone bariatric surgery, the body uses stomach acid to break down vitamin B12, which lets it get absorbed into the body.

 

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There are several ways to take your supplements.  My personal preference is via Sublingual methods, e.g.: Sprays, Dissolvable/Chewable tablets under the tongue, Liquids, Drops or powders.  B12 injections are also very effective way of administering this vital supplement. Most vitamin and minerals tablets you get from the pharmacies are full of fillers and actually don’t dissolve that well for people who haven’t had Bariatric Surgery.  Those of you who may have had Lap Band surgery will have found that tablets will have become stuck and caused many problems.

Sublingual ingestion, in my opinion. is the only viable way for Bariatric Surgery recipients to get the recommended requirements of Vitamins & Minerals necessary for optimal long-lasting health.

 

It is very important to understand the importance of Supplements post bariatric weight loss surgery due to the malabsorption issues created by the change in the gut microbiome.

Stay Savvy

www.savvybariatrics.com

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